Not everything that's broken needs to be fixed

Entering college, well, not only college, I've had to deal with so many changes. The first "big change" in my life was my parents separating. And it was one of the hardest and most painful things I've had to go through, but after a while, it's not even the big things that hurt anymore. It's not that your parents are moving on with their lives, or that they're no longer speaking. It's more of... adjusting to having two homes, or picking who to spend Sunday dinner or Christmas morning with. It can even be something as little as remembering to bring your charger (because come on, you're honestly fucked without it), or figuring out where to leave this certain pair of shoes. And I'm still having difficulty with that until now. If I'm about to go out, and plan an outfit in my head, the whole thing can be ruined if I realize that I left that top I wanted to wear in my dad's house. Sometimes, those little things are the ones that really bite you in the ass. In college, on the other hand, it's a different kind of change, but still change nonetheless. It's a whole new environment, especially for me since I came from Poveda where I saw the same students, teachers, cafeteria, guards, classrooms, and bathrooms for 14 freaking years. It was my second home. After I left it, things were never the same again. Not only did I enter a whole new place, but I felt like I was going through it alone. For the first time, I saw different faces, teachers, classrooms, etc. It was really hard to not have that familiarity and sense of comfortability, because I wasn't with my friends, and the people I trusted.

The first thing that comes to mind when thinking of change is fear. We're all afraid of what's going to happen, how we're going to handle it, and if we're ready for it or not. But I learned that there are just some things that are out of our control, and we must learn to accept that. Things change, and they might not be what we're used to, but we have to figure out a way to get over that fear or else you'll be stuck in the same place you've always been, while everyone else is moving on. Relationships and friendships end. Every day. Even though we try really hard to keep things the same way, the person you consider to be the most important one in your life right now may be someone you don't even talk to anymore in a year or so. And it may be painful, but the world will always go on, and as much as it sucks, it doesn't stop for anyone. 

Losing people, I think, is the hardest thing about change. But because of it, we realize that there is a much bigger world than what we limit ourselves to. Looking back, I'm glad I was able to detach myself from the same people and the same things I was used to growing up. I stopped clinging to the past, and was able to see things in a new perspective, and in a wider range that I never even imagined was possible. When change happens, we don't always have to fix things or adjust ourselves to someone else's liking. What we need to be able to figure out for ourselves is when to move on, like realizing when it's worth holding on to a relationship or not. And guess what? No matter how hard something may seem, we always get through it and get to the other side a stronger and smarter person.

Even though it seems impossible, we always end up okay. :)

50 Shades of... Nothing

I read 50 Shades of Grey by E.L. James about a month or two ago, since the hype for it was crazy, and I was really itching to read a new book. I love reading books because I get so absorbed into the story that I feel like I form a personal and close relationship with the characters, which is probably why I cry in books more often than I do in movies. It's different when you're reading a character's thoughts, feelings, wishes, hopes, and dreams, and feel one with them, than when you simply watch their actions on film. 

After reading 50 Shades of Grey, I was honestly disappointed. I was literally like, "That's it?!" I couldn't believe how poorly it was written, and in cheap taste. To summarize the whole story, (sorry for the spoilers ahead) it's about an innocent girl who falls in love with a powerful and wealthy man, who's into some really sexually weird shit, but is a bit too cowardly to commit to a relationship. They try to work things out, but eventually had to give up on each other. And that's basically it. After putting your time and effort into reading 514 pages, that's all you get. And come on, haven't we heard that story a billion times?

So, what's the hype all about? Sex. Sex with the perfect man who's handsome, strong, well-endowed, and whose name is Christian Grey. The book was crafted in such a way that you'll fall head over heels with him, and how you'd be willing to do unimaginable things just to be with him. It reminds me a lot of Twilight since it started as a fan fiction of it. Both stories revolve around a guy, (they make women look pathetic, btw) but 50 Shades of Grey is sexually ten times crazier. Just imagine handcuffs, beads, leather, fisting,  bondage, and multiply that by a hundred. That's the kind of literature this book is about. Better yet, before it gets really awkward, just watch these two videos by Ellen and 3 old ladies. After watching them, congratulations, you've practically read the whole book.

Ellen reads "50 Shades of Grey"

3 Old Ladies Read "50 Shades of Grey"

Nonetheless, I still understand why people are crazy about it. 50 Shades of Grey, specifically Christian Grey, taps on the inner desires of people, and yanks it out of them. I guess everybody needs that sort of fantasy or escape once in a while, especially maybe housewives who don't get a lot of craziness every now and then (My friend Cla said this book is referred to as "mommy porn" haha). Every girl and woman still dreams of that man who can take her flying. I just think that books like these, or as they call it, erotic novels, are a form of "cheap writing" because there's honestly no real story. The whole time I was reading it, that's what I was looking for. Not once was I excited to take a peep in the next few pages to know what was going to happen next. And no, it did not touch my soul. It was all about sex, sex, and then crazier sex. To me, there should be way more than that in a story. You'd be better off just watching porn. Seriously.

But hey, that's just my opinion.

On choosing your course and making life decisions

Since my 2nd year of college is about to start, I remember when I was just in high school choosing my course. Sadly, I'm not one of those people who already knew what they wanted from the start - like being a doctor, lawyer, or chef. You're pretty damn lucky if you're one of those people since you're probably already on the right track to your dream. When I was in kindergarten, I told everyone during my graduation that I wanted to be Miss Universe. I mean, come on, that dream of mine can kiss my a$$! I'm not even tall enough! Anyway, getting back to the subject of this post, entering Ateneo, Development Studies (my current course) was not my first choice. In my head, (and what my parents would tell me) this course won't get me anywhere. I didn't even know what the heck it does, and had no idea what was in store for me. I figured I was going to shift to Psych or Comm by the start of 2nd year. And here I am. Still in Development Studies, and loving my course.

If you're reading this, and still about to enter college, don't, and I mean, DON'T choose a course that you think will get you a high salary in the future just because it is an honors course. No. That's not how it works. When I was in high school, everybody thought ME (Management Engineering) was the shit. (They probably still do... No offense to anyone in ME!) The common impression is that since it's a tough course to get into, and only crazy smart people can get in, they'll probably have the best jobs in the future. But what people don't realize is that this is where the biggest pool of competitors is. Although it is a very good course, finding a high paying job won't be the easiest thing to do after college. You're going to be battling it out with the rest of the hardcore nerds in this world.

What I'm trying to say is that it is important to be more flexible with choosing your course. Do what you want and what you're passionate about. In my 1st year of college, I learned that Development Studies very much appealed to me. (It also has a high employment rate! Hihi) You can take it if you're interested in owning your own business (You can double major in DS and Development Management), but at the same time helping the less fortunate. Doing something that has a cause. It can also help you work your way into the UN, or in an NGO. I realized, because of not purposely entering this course, that I have a new dream. Maybe someday, as cheesy as it sounds, I can put up my own Non-Government Organization and help people. And if that doesn't happen, I hope that I can at least write about the misfortunes I see around me, and make people aware of them too.

A part of making decisions is thinking of other people too. It's not only about you. It never is. In addition to that, make decisions you've never even imagined. Put yourself somewhere you've never even dared to be a part of. Be flexible. Be adventurous. :)

Popping my blogspot cherry

Hi. This blog is going to be the friend I never had. I'll be posting here anything and everything that matters to me - what I'm curious about, what I like and dislike, whether it's about politics, music, books, food, movies, or maybe even a cute little video I found on YouTube. So you can read this, but you don't really have to. Just doing what I love best.